Detox: Day 3-7 and more....

Ok, so I lasted five days and cheated on day five/Friday night. I paid for it though...I was in the washroom by dessert! I'm now back to eating solid foods, but am loving my juicer so much that most of my food intake is through juicing. I eat approximately two small meals a day and the rest is the juice. I'm also not eating as much meat as I used to.

My hair is growing and I've stopped wearing hats. I have just under an inch all the way around, look like a boy, but I really don't care. It's much too hot to be wearing hats, especially on a day like yesterday where we hit 29 degrees.

I've moved and am all settled in. I love my house! I can't wait to entertain and have some of you over to see it. I also miss my old apartment, but I'm trying to just "let it go". You know me, I suffer from separation anxiety! :)

Other than that, I'm doing fairly well. I have herceptin tomorrow and will be asking my oncologist once again if I can return to work. The fatigue comes in doses. There are days when I'm good and days where I'm bad, but it's improved from before and mostly because of the juicing. As for the chemo brain, it's still there. I have days where I'm sharp like a knife and then suddenly I will bust out the old Dory without even knowing it! haha!

Spiritually and emotionally I feel a little weaker, but I'm trying to strengthen up in that department. I find myself easily annoyed, frustrated, STRESSED and pessimistic. I know I should "deal with it", but a big part of me just wants to escape and hope it just goes away by itself when I get back. I've never wanted a vacation as bad as I do now. The "me-time" I cherish feels non-existent these days. I've been spending alot of my days looking back at my backpacking trip to India and Thailand and wishing I could do it again. That trip did so much to nourish my soul and my soul needs nourishing like that again. Anyway, a vacation seems impossible for me these days and it just makes my whole situation a little worse because I can't go. Oh well...I just gotta hope it passes and passes soon!

I will try to take new pictures of me to post for you since I have hair now! I also FINALLY developed the film where my brother shaved my head. It was horrible to look at because I remember how awful I felt that day, but am thankful we got it captured in a photo for me to look back at. I will post it soon. I've had them since before I moved and now it's just a matter of finding it again.

I received my driver's license renewal in the mail the other day. When I first got diagnosed I read Lance Armstrong's book and he too had his license expire during treatment, but his was during chemo and he was truly bald. Thanks to him I don't feel so bad about having to take a new photo. I'm going to look like a boy in a picture, but like Lance says, it's a good reminder of where I've been and what I've been through and how I should live my life towards... and that's a fulfilling one!

I know my family in the Philippines reads my blog, so I just want them to know that I'm sending my love and strength their way. My nephew died at 17 when a drunk driver went into the wrong lane and hit him on his motorocycle. :(

I'll be in touch....until then, by for now.