Not returning to work - Doctor's orders

I asked my Oncologist on Thursday if she would sign my return to work forms and she said, "no, rest!". She said, "Jenny, do something special for yourself...rejuvenate spiritually, emotionally and physically..you've been through alot". The first thing I thought of was going on that much-needed vacation, but I just can't do that financially right now. I'm going to try my hardest though. She took the time to remind me of where I've been and am going through. I was bummed because I was looking forward to going back to work and being useful again. I had visited my co-workers just before my treatment and I was telling them that I was coming back. Oh well, at home I will stay for another month or two.

I also have to start tamoxifen now. It's a pill I take everyday for the next five years and is an anti-estrogen. Since my cancer was estrogen positive, this should help reduce the chance of recurrence. I'm not very happy about this. This pill apparently has some wicked side effects like bone pain which I already suffer from - from the waist down, weight gain when I'm trying my hardest to lose the weight I gained from chemo, mood swings and irritability when I'm already swinging and irritated! So basically it will just intensify everything that I'm presently going through. :( It's just tiring to have to ride side effects all the time!

Physically, my nails are almost all pink again. The incision where the lumpectomy was is almost invisible. Radiation helped alot with this since it pretty much burned the skin and as consequence peeled right off. Was that too graphic? It sounds alot worse than it really was, trust me! My left side is definitely tighter and weaker than my right. My hair is growing and my legs get stiff very easily. Anytime I get up to walk, my bones from the waist down are tight and my right knee is needing a doctor because walking up and down stairs is very painful. My appointment is tomorrow to have that checked.

Check the blog later on today as I will try to post pictures of my growing hair and nails. I still haven't found the pictures of when I shaved my head, but then again I haven't really looked. :)

I'm scheduled for another heart test and a routine abdomen scan on May 17th. My oncologist wants to check my stomach because it's bloated and wants to be on the safe side. I'm very curious to know how my heart is doing. I've been shooting the basketball around in the mornings and sometimes at night to get my heart rate up...and to practice on my shot! ;) Although my knee hurts, my brace helps. I've been doing breathing exercises since Thursday because a co-worker, Sam, told me to. I've been trying to spend some quality time with myself, but my brain is so scattered that I can't bring my mind to a restful and peaceful state....hence, the need for a vacation!

I just got an invite for sushi lunch from Heidi. YUMMMMY!!

Stay tuned, I'll be back later with pictures.